Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Quick Update

We got the news last Friday that we were accepted into the DE shared risk program. TM and I do not have any insurance coverage for infertility so acceptance into this program is helpful. I was on pins and needles until I got the phone call....now we just need to sign the contract, write a big check, pick a donor, and we are off and running. Whew.......exhausting.

I got the good news while I was with my parents (I think that I have mentioned before how unsupportive they are (but claim to be the most supportive!) of our infertility treatments). My father went as far as to say that infertility is a personal issue, not a medical issue, and therefore insurance should not cover it. I promptly replied that this was easy for him to say with 5 biological children of his own. He did not quite know how to take that response. I was really surprised that he felt this way. My Dad is a MD (retired), he is of the old generation......Dr's were viewed as Gods and insurance companies did not interfere. I guess I should have anticipated this type of comment and should just avoid talking about the entire topic with them. It's a shame because right now this is the most important thing happening in my life and you would think that they would want to be part of it.

They are not aware of our switch to DE and I don't think that I will ever tell either of them. They would never understand so why bother. I guess I am done hoping for their support.

10 comments:

Daisy said...

Congrats! I too would not tell my parents for similar reasons. We both feel like their knowing would interfere with their ability to feel connected to the child. Each of them are from large families (Dad raised Catholic, Mom raised Mormon). Biology is a BIG deal to them and ART is like science fiction, not part of the reality they understand. Glad you are on your way! Maybe we will cycle at the same time. Mine is (hopefully) in July.
Daisy

ultimatejourney said...

Congratulations on being accepted into the program! I'm sorry you can't share your excitement with your parents, but I'll be here to support you all the way!

My Reality said...

Congrats on getting accepted into the shared risk program! Your parents may not be able to offer support, but we will be there.

Aunt Sassy said...

Glad to hear of the shared risk DE acceptance. Some people won't get it. It sucks that your parents fall into that category... but i would hate for you to spend more energy on hoping for a response you will likely never receive from them. We will be here to support you through it.

Good luck!

Bumble said...

Awesome news on the DE Shared programme! I'm sorry your dad doesn't understand these things, but like you say, its easy when you've never walked in our shoes. Good Luck with it x

Reproductive Jeans said...

Thats GREAT news! Im sure that lifted a big weight off your shoulders! We are your family here too, so we will support you ALL the way to the finish line!

Somewhat Ordinary said...

What an exciting day! Despite your unspportive parents, this moment should be something to celebrate!Hopefully you can put your parents issues aside and enjoy this. You've got us!

Foreverhopeful said...

Congratulations... :) :) That's great you were accepted into their shared risk program. That must be one less worry for you.. :) :) I'm so sorry about your dad and how unsuporrtive he is. Its his loss and yes we are all here to walk this journey with you.. :) :) Good luck and keep us posted.

Matthew M. F. Miller said...

What a cool thing for you! I hope you find all of the support you need.

millie said...

Congrats on getting into the program! I hope you'll be off and running soon.

I have a lot of problems with people who think of infertility as a 'personal issue'. Would your dad say that someone who had a heart attack shouldn't get treatment because they ate cheeseburgers? Or that insurance should cover Viagra but not ART?

Does he know that it would cost less than $2 per family per month to allow every American the opportunity to build a family? I think a lot of people are misled into thinking it would be expensive to have coverage when in fact it's not true at all.

I'm so sorry that your folks aren't more supportive. We had some issues with various family members and I sent them some links to info on the Resolve site and the Empty Arms video. It might not work at all in your situation but sometimes a little education can go a long way.

We'll be here supporting and cheering you on every step of the way.