Nothing announces the onset of summer more than the arrival of summer interns. Bright eyed, excited, and ready to take on the world. Their lives are just beginning. They have everything to look forward to. Disappointment is not on the radar screen.
I can't remember those days. They are so far away. So many events have transpired that I feel that my 20's and early 30's have flown by. I don't think that I ever got to experience the excitement of early life the way that "normal" people do. I am hoping that my mid-thirties will be MY TIME.....
All of the challenges have helped to shape me into the person that I am today. This is mostly positive; however, there are some things that I would love to change about myself:
1) I would love to feel excited about something, anything. Everything seems tired and gray instead of bright and new.
2) I would like to be able to dream again - to think about the future and be excited about the unknown.
3) I would like to be able to relax! It seems impossible, my mind never slows down. I am always planning, worrying, planning, worrying.
4) I would like to stop thinking that "I can't" because of the "What if's". I can't make plans for vacation, what if I am cycling? I can't go ahead with that house project, what if we need the money for another cycle?
5) I would love to not take myself so seriously! Seriously!
6) I would like to feel secure enough to trust in my friends and family - to not feel so alone.
7) I would love to be a better wife, daughter, sister, friend. To reconnect with the world outside of me.
I have to admit, I am jealous of the interns. Their entire lives are ahead of them. Everything is exciting and new.
I am in a different place. I cannot go back. I can only take lessons learned from my past forward and strive to be the person that I want to be.
This post was featured on the Friday Blog Roundup on Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters