Sunday, July 29, 2007

Transfer #9

Transfer Day today! Hopefully this cycle is the one. I am not feeling anxious but I am also not feeling optimistic. I guess that being a veteran takes the nerves out of the whole process. I think that the extra stuff that we have going on right now is distracting me from being too obsessive.

Anyhoo, here are the stats thus far:

11 eggs retrieved
9 eggs mature
8 fertilized
8 embryos on day three
1 10 cell
3 9 cells
1 eight cell
1 seven cell
3 six cell

2 embryos transferred today (one blast and one almost blast- I don't remember the specific term, it starts with a "M").

5 embryos will continue to culture the remainder of today with the possibility of freezing tomorrow if they make it to blast.

This last part is new for me - not sure what it means that 5 did not make it to blast by today. Is that good or bad? The Doc didn't say that it was a bad thing just that they needed a little bit more time to culture. He didn't seem concerned (but then again he never does).

So, I have been laying around today - sleeping through most of the day - thanks to my good friend Vitamin V (Valium).

Tomorrow starts the review of a pretty big project that I have had at work. I am prepared so I am not too worried about it; it will actually keep me busy this week so that I am not obsessing about symptoms.

Congrats to Serenity! She got her BFP yesterday and I am so excited for her.

Thoughts and prayers are with Lara and JJ for their upcoming betas! I am thinking about you girls.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Cycle News

Things went well yesterday with the retrieval. 11 eggs retrieved, 9 mature, and 8 fertilized. We will find out on Friday how many make it to the three day mark. We are shooting for a five day blast transfer.

To be completely honest, I have been trying not to think too much about this cycle. This may be self-protection against the disappointment of another BFN - I am not sure. Or maybe, I am not over the DE solution. I don't know. I think that I have been really down lately due to the hormones. Lupron stopped yesterday morning so I am only about one day out. The estrogen didn't provide a pick me up this cycle - not sure why. I started the progesterone yesterday evening. I am on the gel version so I don't have to endure the IM shots which is good.

I feel a little bit overwhelmed with everything else going on for me right now. There is so much to talk about, but right now I am too tired to go into it.

Each cycle seems to get longer and longer. I am exhausted. I am worried about absolutely everything. I am sick of being a whiner and complainer. I am ready to be back to normal - but hoping that I am anything but normal for the next 40 weeks.

Here's to hoping........

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Cycle Update

Things are crazy on the home front. I have so much on my mind. Lots of things are going on in the Expectations household that are out of the norm. I will save the details for a later post.

The drama here has put me way behind on everyones posts. I want to apologize to all of my fellow bloggers out there - I will be catching up on your posts soon.

On to the cycle update. Well, retrieval is scheduled for Tuesday! The last tally was 10 mature follicles - evenly split on both the left and right with quite a few behind the leaders. My lining measured in at approx. 9 today with the triple stripe present and accounted for. We are hoping for a 5 day transfer, but we'll have to wait and see how it goes.....

I just realized that I completely forgot the get-together this evening with the D.C. crew. My apologies to all. I was really looking forward to seeing everyone again. I am bummed that I missed it. Hope that everyone had a good time.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Busy Busy

Wow, things are busy these days! I haven't been able to post for a little while due to my crazy schedule, but I have been thinking about everyone.

On to cycle news: my baseline was last Thursday (a day early due to a last minute trip out of town to visit some family). All looked good on the home front. My donor went in on Friday and started stims on Saturday. We both had bloods taken (her on Tues - me today) and all is well. She will go in for monitoring tomorrow, and I will go in on Sunday. Seems like this is going fast this time (which is good).

The Lupron symptoms seemed to quiet down as everything else began to ramp up. Work is crazy and we have some family stuff going on that is taking up a lot of our time right now. I am feeling better than I was a week ago (probably the introduction of the Estrogen into my cycle). I hope that it lasts!

Hope that everyone is well. I will be catching up on everyone's blogs this week! I also am excited to see the D.C. Queens on Sunday!

Sunday, July 8, 2007

The First Step?

I heard an interesting quote today - "You have to lose yourself in order to find yourself again".

For some time now, I have felt so lost, so alone. Not able to relate to everyone else. Wondering if there was something wrong with me - why wasn't I able to feel anything but anger and sadness? Why was I empty inside?

Each and every lost cycle compounds these feelings. The despair is overwhelming. It encompasses every aspect of my life.

Thinking about the quote above, I wonder - will I find myself again? Who will I find? Will I recognize myself?

Right now, I am trying to put myself out there. I don't want to hide anymore. I don't want to be afraid of disappointment and to let that fear determine my course. Maybe this is the first step. I certainly hope so.....

Sunday, July 1, 2007

Hormonal Already?

Well, it's day 2 of injections.......and it's official, I am a bitch on this stuff. TM is gearing up for the tough road ahead.