Yesterday was cycle review day. Cycle reviews are the worst, particularly this last one. I am pretty good at holding it together, but yesterday was tough. This last cycle failure has been particularly hard. I thought that DE would be the answer and it still may be. We are not prepared to give up yet and will try again with DE.
On to the cycle review - the Doc gave us the standard line....about how sorry he was that this cycle did not result in a pregnancy.....I almost lost it, but thankfully recovered before breaking down. We then discussed the possible reasons why this cycle did not work. Basically, he has no idea. We fit into the "unexplained" category for this cycle. He is convinced that my egg quality is an issue, thus the reason why we chose donor egg and he still thinks that this is the case. Looks like we just got a bad cycle out of our donor. Sperm quality does not seem to be an issue and even if it were we are doing ICSI. I will be doing another Hysterosonogram (sp?)next week to determine if I have any uterine problems.
I know that my clinic is doing everything possible for us and they are highly qualified with an excellent set of dr's, embryologists, nurses, and staff. But this is so frustrating!
TM and I looked at donors yesterday, but have decided to postpone any decision making for a few days. I'll have to see how I feel in a few days.
On another note, I am really dreading Mothers Day this year. There is a family get together and I think that I will have to miss it. Right now, I have to think about what is good for me and celebrating motherhood for everyone in my family but me does not seem to be a good idea. I am still pretty raw and very emotional.
Why does this have to be so hard? I want to continue to be strong and positive about all of the good things in my life, but it just keeps getting more and more difficult. Although I am not ready to give up, I am feeling very discouraged.