Sunday, April 1, 2007

April Fools

I want to send out a big "Thank You" to all of my blog supporters in cyberspace. It means a lot to me just knowing that I am not alone in the world of IF (DE in particular).

While I am new to the world of blogging, I have been a lurker for some time now. Reading blogs of other fellow IF survivors has helped me immeasurably. I have gained knowledge, perspective, strength, and definition of purpose. I strive to be emotionally secure and focused and not to doubt myself.

That being said - Some days are harder than others. I think that for every step that I take forward I end up taking two steps back. Today was particularly hard, I purposely missed a baby shower, opted out of the family get together for Easter (pregnant relatives, cute kids, nosy questions - you know the drill), and had a lupron meltdown. My husband, a.k.a. The Man or TM for short, shows real patience when dealing with my meltdowns. I don't seem to have them very often, but when I do.........look out. Usually a meltdown does not come out of the blue. Something or someone sets the wheels in motion. Today was no different. Let's just say that someone played an "April Fools" joke that hit a little too close to home. The jokester did not try to intentionally hurt TM or I, and in fact apologized later, but the damage was done. Let's put it this way, there is a new winner in the insensitivity comment contest. I used to think that the winner was - "You should just stop trying and adopt. I know someone that adopted and as soon as they did they ended up pregnant.", but winner no longer.......someone else has taken the crown in this category. Maybe one day I will share, but for now it is better left unsaid.

Insensitivity is one reason that TM and I do not plan on disclosing DE to friends and family. Most family members are supportive but there are a few that believe that we should not be pursuing IVF and cannot seem to comprehend the process at all. I don't want to answer their questions or feel the need to explain. Said family members have never been supportive, even through TM's diagnosis, treatment and recovery. I could not imagine that they would be a source of support now. So, it makes sense to just keep this to ourselves for now.

I am so grateful that IVF and DE is an option for us. TM is completely recovered and almost 10 years out at this point. We have been blessed with a wonderful donor who is willing to help us become a family. I cannot express how thankful I am - even when some days are tougher than others.


Becks said...

Oh poor you. I do hope you feel better today. Why do people who know so little about IF and IVF feel like they should be the one's giving the advice? You just ignore them - the blog world will be your support. Becks

Anonymous said...

Just found your blog... I can't imagine what could have trumped the ever popular "Stop trying and adopt then you'll get preg" crap. Whatever it was, sorry you had to hear it. People just don't get it. You and TM have been through a lot... wishing success for you soon.

Baby Blues said...

I so hear you. Hubby has been so supportive in my decision to avoid big family reunions, babies and all. People when in large social gatherings seem to be more insensitive at times. That's why I prefer small intimate groups. It's just too exhausting to try to explain and expect them to understand what we're going through.

Sorry you had to take that crap. Just don't mind their ignorance.

Becks said...

Hi. You asked me to let you know if I heard anything else about what to eat/drink/take. Well our nurse told me today to take 75mg of aspirin daily. Apparently, some research has shown that it helps women who repeatedly miscarry and she said it can also help the embryo impant. Hope you are feeling better, keep your chin up. Becks

Foreverhopeful said...

So sorry to hear about your tough day and the insensitive comments. This journey is such a roller coaster and so many things have the ability to hurt us. I've had to encounter many of those insensitive comments as well. It just amazes me how ignorant some people are. I stopped going to big get together's and any baby showers/kids parties along time ago. I avoided anything that I knew could potentially hurt me to protect my fragile soul. Glad to hear you found a great egg donor..! That's so great and I'm very happy for you and your DH. Good luck with your next step.. :)

Anonymous said...

I hope you don't have any more insensitive comments.

If we go donor egg/sperm/embryo, I don't know that I would tell anyone in the family, either. Most people just don't understand and, really, it isn't any of their business anyway.