I am thinking this morning and going over my history with IVF. Over the last year and a half I have been going full force hoping that one of these times one of my cycles would just work. I am so frustrated to be at the point where I am starting to think I have been beaten. I let myself feel some hope over the last two days........and now I am back to reality again. Of course it is on a day where I can't just hide in bed all day, I have to pull myself together along with Easter dinner and take everything on the road. I have to keep telling myself that this time might be different and make it through the next few days without having a nervous breakdown. Why does this have to be so hard????
Here is a breakdown of my cycles so far:
1st IVF: 3 -3DT - BFN
2nd IVF: 2 -5dt - BFN
1st FET: 2 -5dt - BFN
2nd FET: 2 -5dt - BFN
3rd IVF: 3 -3dt with assisted hatching (could have gone to 5 day, but Dr wanted to try a three day with the assisted hatching - he was worried about triplets - ha)- Beta = 5; subsequent BFN
3rd FET: 3 - 5dt with assisted hatching - BFN
4th FET: 3 - 5dt with assisted hatching - BFN
Now we are in the thick of DE cycle #1 - today we got the news that out of 13 eggs retrieved, 5 were immature, and 3 did not fertilize. So we are left with 5 fertilized embryos. The Dr wants us to come in on Tuesday for a three day transfer. All along the plan was to come in for a five day transfer, but since we have less than 6 embryos at this stage, the feeling is that a three day transfer may need to happen. This is not good news. The only other time that a three day transfer was mandated for me was our first cycle when all of our embryos did not look good at all. I did not get any grading information today for our DE embryos as it was not available, this causes me concern.
The plan right now is to go in on Tuesday and find out if: 1) there are any embryos to transfer, and 2) we should transfer on Tuesday or wait until Thursday.
Right now, I am feeling really down and not sure how I am going to make it to Tuesday. Of course, I will make it and will survive no matter what happens, but damn this is stressful.