Thursday, August 2, 2007

Cycle Update and More.........

It's been a long week with some bad news and some good news - hey, I'll take any good news these days, beggars can't be choosers.

Re: the bad news: none of the remaining 5 embryos made it to blast. In my mind, this does not mean good news for this cycle. In fact, I am pretty pissed off about it. Three sets of eggs (two of donors and me) and no significant blasts from anyone but me (the bad egg woman). Go figure. The embryologist stated that they transferred two good ones, whatever that means. Now, if I seem cynical, it's because I am. I am tired, tired, tired of trying with nothing to show for it. I haven't been stressing too much about the 2ww since I pretty much think that this cycle is over anyway. The nurses and TM say to be "positive", but come on - let's face the big picture here, statistically no blasts remaining probably means that the ones transferred suffered the same fate. I don't know what to think anymore. The only positive is that I am finally able to hold it together without crying at the drop of a hat.

On to the good news - I have kept this quiet up until now because I wasn't sure if it would work out. It's not final yet, but here goes....................TM and I are going to be foster parents! We had our homestudy yesterday and it went really well. We saw the Dr. today. He signed off that we were healthy people (other than the IVF addiction that is - ha ha). So, we are now just waiting on the system to get everything in place.

We recently went on a trip to visit a relative who needs a home. He is 11 and is pretty excited to move in with us. We are excited to have him here! He should be here in 3 weeks or so!

This did move quickly and is partly the reason for my blog silence. We have been so busy running around getting all of the paperwork done so that he can get here before school starts. In addition, this is my busy time of year at work so that has been crazy.

I have a feeling that we are in for some equally busy times ahead, but I am certainly excited about it!


Leah said...

WOW! That's wonderful. I hope that little boy realizes how lucky he is. I'm so happy for you guys.

That seriously sucks that none of the 5 made it to blast. And here I thought DE was the magic bullet... I know that you have chosen to write this cycle off, but I'm not going to. I'm going to be wildly, unreasonably, insanely positive for you. I just might go out to buy baby clothes on your behalf, I'm going to be that outrageously positive. So you don't worry about being negative, I've got you covered. :-)

millie said...

It sounds like you really do have a couple of great ones on board. I know it's hard to believe that/focus on that but I will even if you can't.

And I'm wondering about your lab? Are they really good at taking embryos to blast? Because it's sounding like it might be something more on their end.

How wonderful you'll be foster parents!

Drowned Girl said...

Well, you know. My understanding is that approx 1/3 embryos has the potential to become a blast. That would be almost 2/7. So, you see, I reckon those are the two you got!

In our case, from 9, 3 in the dish became blasts, and the embryologist is stressing a bit maybe she chose the wrong ones for us.

So, you can look at it both ways!

But really, we can't see the ones we have inside, sadly. And we can't work out much from looking at a bunch of OTHER embryos, in the last analysis.

Schatzi said...

I'm sorry to hear the ones in the dish didn't make it to blast. I am still hoping the "best ones" are the ones they transferred. But I do understand being tired of the waiting, hoping and disappointments.

Congratulations on the foster child thing! I imagine you have been very busy getting this all worked out, and I am looking forward to hearing more about him!

In and Out of Luck said...

Congratulations on the fostering! That is exciting news. And I am sorry that the 5 embryos did not make it to blast. I am still hoping for the two that they did transfer, particularly for the one that was already blast at the moment of transfer (if I understood right?) Good luck and I am going to be thinking good thoughts for the next however many days until you find out.

dmarie said...

Huge congrats on becoming foster parents!

Fingers crossed for you in this 2ww :)

Foreverhopeful said...

I'm so sorry to hear the rest of your embies didn't make it to blast. I can understand the disapointment but I think there is still a good chance you have two good embies in there. Good luck to you!!!!

Wow that is great news about the foster child. No wonder you've been so busy. Congrats on becoming foster parents. The child is going to be one lucky kid.. !! So happy for you.. :) :)

Karen said...

oddly, the statistics really DON'T work that way.. just because the other five didn't make it to blast doesn't mean that the two they transferred are useless. So I'm not writing this cycle off for you at all.

Congratulations on the foster parenting! My husband and I have had a foster son (he's actually a private placement, so it's a little different, but it's similar) for three years, and he's awesome.

Anonymous said...

Congrats on the foster child! How exciting!

Still holding out hope for this cycle.

Lea Bee said...

that is great about being a foster parent. and i'm sorry to hear that none of the 5 made it to blast.

Becks said...

How fantastic you are to be foster parents!! I bet you are all so excited and ehat a lovely distraction from the 2ww.

I do hope one or both of your 2 little one's make it. I am sure it has happened lots of times before from embryos that either never made it to blast. Good luck.

daisy said...

I'm sorry about the embies. That doesn't seem hopeful but as my friend M reminds me, she had beautiful grade A embies that made it to blast, all 8 IVF cycles, and none of them took. It's just such an un-knowable process. Wishing you all the best luck with the 2ww and your foster son!

KarenO said...

I'm sorry about the bad news, but SO happy about the GREAT news! Hope you enjoy all the preparations for the child coming to stay with you - may it exceed your wild and most wonderful expectations :)

ultimatejourney said...

Wow, you're going to be foster parents! That's so exciting. Good luck getting everything finalized.

It sucks that none of the other embies made it to blast, but I'm holding out hope for the ones that are in a more natural environment -- your body.

Pamela Jeanne said...

What a week indeed. I can appreciate your skepticism, but you don't know until you know so I'm keeping my fingers crossed on your behalf.

Would also like to thank you for your comment today. As for the isolation question, sometimes self imposed isolation is necessary to steel us for what comes next. It can be good or bad depending on whether our strength is ebbing or flowing. I take it a day at a time and follow my instincts.

Wishing you well with your new foster parenting. I have no doubt that you'll excel!

Kami said...

I can understand being pessimistic, but you never know. I will hold out hope for you.

Since the DE's didn't do as well, is it possible it is a sperm issue after all? I haven't read all your blog but understand that you froze sperm prior to cancer treatment - maybe they didn't freeze well? Sorry for the assvice. Just thinking out loud . . .we are about to do DE after a dx of MFI and while the docs say we should be good with DE, I still sometimes wonder if they are right.

Here is hoping that you guys just dodged the donor stuff all together and this cycle will be full of magic and success!

Trish said...

Congrats!! On the foster parenting.

I understand your hesitance on hope, but I'll continue to be hopeful for you. They put the 2 best ones back. There's no reason to believe they're better OR WORSE than the ones that were left.