Sunday, August 10, 2008

Update

Hi All,

Haven't blogged in a while - same old story - working too much, not enough time in the day. But TM is telling me that I need to get back to doing something for me - so here we are. I enjoy blogging.....so I am going to try and keep up with posting and with my reading and comments.

Baby J is doing fine - he is a big guy - 4 months old tomorrow and weighing in at 16 lbs 14 oz. He is truly a blessing and I thank God every day that he is here and is healthy and happy. Wishing that he was a better napper, but you can't have it all.....

TM and I are adjusting to parenthood but it is tougher than I expected. I always thought that I knew that life would change but you don't really realize all of the little changes that have to be made. No longer can I run into the convenience store for just a soda, or stop at just any ATM - the concept of drive-through takes on a whole new meaning - its not just convenient - it saves my back. Venturing out during naptime means listening to whining the entire day - and at Casa CE whining is not tolerated well. But we are taking it all in stride - Baby J goes everywhere with us and he does very well most of the time.

Big J is still challenging - the therapists now think that he a high functioning form of autism. We are working through how to deal with that.

Somedays I am very resentful with Big J - he takes up so much of our time (with behavior issues) that we are not always able to enjoy Baby J. It is frustrating. Consequences don't have any impact on his behavior and talking is not working. Extended family members are not enjoying having the entire family over because he is so difficult. I am at a loss as to what to do.

At this point, I am taking every day an hour at a time......

Looking forward to catching up with everyone....and hope to start making it again to the TOOTPU get togethers.

3 comments:

Leah said...

I am thrilled to hear from you! Glad that baby J is thriving and bringing you such joy. Sorry that big J is giving you a run for your money, I hope it gets better.

I'll look forward to seeing you at a TOOTPU gathering soon!

LJ said...

Hooray! You're writing again!

Anonymous said...

I hope you're doing fine dear! Your blog is so inspiring. I had so many thoughts on my mind before de ivf. It’s much easier for men to accept this. It will be their child, so why should they worry about such things? To be honest, at first I was completely against de ivf. I thought it’s unnatural and I won’t be able to love a baby of another woman. How stupid I was! This procedure was my only chance to become a mother so I persuaded myself to do it. Now I have no regrets. I look at Sammy and I consider him as my son and no one else's. We had an opportunity to give our doctor list of features we want to see in our donor. We mentioned hair color, nose and face shape, eyes, lips, etc. I should say everyone tells me my son looks like me! We told everyone, even our family, that we had simple ivf. No one can ever tell we used egg donor. Of course I’m grateful to our doctor and that girl, who donated her eggs. I will never forget what they’ve done for us! But I really have no feelings like my son is not genetically related to me or I feel differently toward him. Absolutely no! I love him with my whole heart! As soon as I knew I’m pregnant all my doubts faded away. I carried him, I felt him inside my stomach, I had toxicosis, I sang for him and read fairytales for him, I gave birth to him! He’s my son and only my! We decided we’ll not tell Sammy about egg donor. I think he doesn’t need to know that. I’m his mom and I’ll do everything for him so there will be no need for him to look for donor. Speaking about clinic, we had de ivf in Ukrainian BioTexCom. We had 2 attempts in general. I’ve got pregnant from the first one. The clinic also offers «packages» with 1 or 5 attempts. So we’ve just chosen «package», which suited us the most. I have no regrets! I'm the happiest mom in the whole world!