Saturday, December 22, 2007

Happy Holidays to everyone in Blog Land. Things here are fairly busy with the holiday buzz, shopping, wrapping, etc. J is doing okay, but still needs a lot of work with the counselor. She comes about twice per week. He has been through a lot and we just need to be patient. It's so tough. I have to remember that TM and I are new to this too not just we need to cut ourselves some slack too!

I had my 23 week appt this past week and everything looks to be going well. I didn't feel the baby too much yesterday and was worried this morning, but the little bugger is moving around quite a bit today - what a relief.

It's so strange to feel excitement instead of apprehension. Not to think constantly about when the next shoe is going to drop. It is such a strange emotion and I am not used to it. At all.

I have a friend who is also expecting (her third) and she is ho hum about the whole thing. Last weekend at a Christmas party all of the ladies were talking and everyone there had an "oops" pregnancy. How annoying. For some people pregnancy and healthy babies seem to be the easy and the norm. Why is it for others that so desperately want to have a baby that it is so difficult? The universe is fxxxxx up. Seriously. My prayers this holiday season will be for all fellow infertiles out there to have their holiday wish come true in the upcoming year. I know that this time of year is difficult for so many. I am right there with all of you. Every step of the way. Do not feel alone.

On another important note, please say a prayer for a dear friend of mine today. 5 years ago she was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. Unfortunately, the cancer has returned. She is young with a beautiful two year old and wonderful husband. She is an inspiration to so many. Keep her in your thoughts this holiday season.


Drowned Girl said...

Hiya! Nice to see you posting. I'm at 23+3 today, as it goes xx

stacyb said...

so glad to know everything is going well.

it is strange to feel excitement instead of apprehension. very strange.

KarenO said...

Hope everything is still going well, and that your holidays wasn't wonderful :) All of the best for 2008!

Anonymous said...

I hope you're doing fine dear! Your blog is so inspiring. I had so many thoughts on my mind before de ivf. It’s much easier for men to accept this. It will be their child, so why should they worry about such things? To be honest, at first I was completely against de ivf. I thought it’s unnatural and I won’t be able to love a baby of another woman. How stupid I was! This procedure was my only chance to become a mother so I persuaded myself to do it. Now I have no regrets. I look at Sammy and I consider him as my son and no one else's. We had an opportunity to give our doctor list of features we want to see in our donor. We mentioned hair color, nose and face shape, eyes, lips, etc. I should say everyone tells me my son looks like me! We told everyone, even our family, that we had simple ivf. No one can ever tell we used egg donor. Of course I’m grateful to our doctor and that girl, who donated her eggs. I will never forget what they’ve done for us! But I really have no feelings like my son is not genetically related to me or I feel differently toward him. Absolutely no! I love him with my whole heart! As soon as I knew I’m pregnant all my doubts faded away. I carried him, I felt him inside my stomach. I had toxicosis. I sang for him and read fairytales for him, I gave birth to him! He’s my son and only my! We decided we’ll not tell Sammy about egg donor. I think he doesn’t need to know that. I’m his mom and I’ll do everything for him so there will be no need for him to look for donor. Speaking about clinic, we had de ivf in Ukrainian BioTexCom. We had 2 attempts in general. I’ve got pregnant from the first one. The clinic also offers «packages» with 1 or 5 attempts. So we’ve just chosen «package», which suited us the most. I have no regrets! I'm the happiest mom in the whole world!