Friday, June 22, 2007

I had a good day today. Work went well, I got home early, enjoyed some time with the neighbors, and settled in to watch tv. All of the sudden, I am sad. Wondering if I will ever get to experience the joy of children. It is always surprising to me how fast these emotions come on.

It is the unknown that is so difficult - will it ever happen for me and TM? Will we ever get to be parents? I suppose that only time will tell......

16 comments:

dmarie said...

I know how it feels to wonder. I'm happy to see your plan below :) I hope you feel spirits lift soon, and even more I hope you get to see those 2 pink lines.

Leah said...

It's no wonder we all refer to it as a "rollercoaster" so often. That's exactly what it's like . . . one minute you're quietly sitting in the car just cruising along a straightaway, then the next you are either shot up a crazy big hill, or you are plunged down a drop so huge that your stomach falls into your shoes.

That's all good and fun when you are 14 and on Space Mountain at Disneyworld. It really SUCKS when you are an adult and all you want is what so many others seem to get so damned easily.

I'm glad you have a plan, and I couldn't possibly be sending you more positive thoughts than I am right now.

My Reality said...

You will be parents. It is just a matter of finding the right path to bring your children to you.

I hope that path makes itself known soon.

Patience said...

It's a question I ask myself all the time, I wish I had a crystal ball that would at least tell me that it *does* happen so I can enjoy the time until then....

ultimatejourney said...

The uncertainty is definitely the worst part for me. I try to comfort myself with the knowledge that we *will* be parents one way or another, but it would be better if we knew when and how.

Aunt Sassy said...

I'm with you... the unknown is the worst part. I'm hoping that wave washed over you, and then just kept on on moving...

Shelby said...

If being a parent is something you and your husband want, it will happen. One way or another. I really do believe that. Now all I can do is hope that it happens sooner, rather than later for you!

Tuesday said...

I wonder that myself. I think all of us have, so you're not alone. It's so hard waiting for something you want so badly.

Trish said...

Wow. I just posted a very similar sentiment. I'm sorry you're feeling down.
We can always blame the hormones.

KarenO said...

The waiting game is the hardest game you'll ever have to play. And somewhere along the line you cringe at the thought that you ever mentioned waiting and game in the same sentence. The only thing you can do is to take it day by day. Hang in there, we're here for you...

Karen said...

I, too, am happy to see your plan in the post below. I'm not surprised at the ups and downs you're feeling, though. It's completely normal. I'm sitting here 20 weeks pregnant with triplets and I STILL get pangs of, "But what if this doesn't work? What if I never get to get all the way through this?" But I have faith. Most of us WILL get to be parents, whether through IUI, IVF, Donor Egg, Adoption, or Foster Care, MOST of us WILL get to be parents one way or another, and no matter how it happens, it will be a blessing.

Becks said...

Sorry you fee a bit down today but just wanted to send you all the luck in he world for he upcoming cycle.

Foreverhopeful said...

I'm right there with you.. the unknown has always been the hardest for me. And sometimes you'll be fine and it will just hit me like a ton of bricks. If someone told me that I will become a parent on this day and how it will happen, I could just enjoy my life and wait around until that day. But every cycle, its so scary because we just don't know and we don't know when. Hang in there and we're all here for you. Big hugs to you.

Somewhat Ordinary said...

Don't you wish those silly Magic 8 Balls really worked? That would save us a lot of heartache!

M said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog. I've actually thought about doing organizing services. My husband is even more organized than me, if you can believe that.
I see you met up with the D.C. bloggers! I'm from the area as well!
www.destinedtobeamom.blogspot.com

Leah said...

Tomorrow is the big cycle start -- happy Lupron and Baby Aspirin day to you! :-)